Nevada County Picayune and Gurdon Times Newspaper Archive

GHS's Galactic Prophecies

Dear Diary,

It's hard to believe it's been 20 years since the class of 1996 walked across the stage for graduation. We were still in our teens, still hangin' out uptown, and still just a little bit wild.

We had all gone our seperate ways, working on our futures. Our government finally established a permanent base on the moon and only a couple of years later, they sent pioneers to Mars to establish a colony there. I could no believe how many of my classmates were involved in this venture.

Hope Griffin has been President of the International Colonists League, recruiting teams of colonists from all over the world. Shea Wetherington has been kept busy interpreting and translating information for the League. So many countries want to be included in colonizing the moon base.

Transportation to the moon has been provided by the Anderson-Ford Corporation. His Space Bullet is the only way colonists have of getting to the moon.

The brave and intrepid pilots of the Bullet; James Baker, Brian Bruce, and Tony Ross were instrumental in getting the colonists, Stevie Anderson, he would not go without his water wings, said he couldn't swim without them.

The moon colonists had a hard life, but out brave classmates stayed and made a home. After many hard months of construction, other colonists arrived. Danica Higginbotham, Amy Kinonen and Samantha Payne with their families settled the colony and made it what it is today.

All the colonists must go through a rigorous set of psychological tests, no one has gone space happy.

Phillip Porcelli, the first ophthalmologist to the colony, disliked the sun's glare. He developed a sunshade implant. It is called Shady Deal. The only drawback is that everyone's eyes glow green. Never fear, Phillip will get it worked out.

The colonists have many problems that we here on earth do not have to deal with. The ability to keep fit is hindered by the lack of gravity. Jennifer Guthrie has been the life saver for the colony. She is the CEO of Bodz in Space, developing new athletic equipment for workouts in low gravity. Her next venture is to build Bodz on Mars.

Chris Brown, Brian Floyd, and D.D. Sheppard, not to be outdone, have been recruiting the best young men for the Mr. Moon, Mr. Mars and Mr. Universe Contest. They promote the contest by example. They have 75 body building trophies among them.

Sports are a problem. The colonists enjoy football and basketball a great deal, however, the lack of gravity has presented some major problems. We are still waiting for Coaches T.J. Curtis and Wesley Buford to recover from the 1 1/2 miles punt made by Jim Hays. They both want him for his team. May the best man win.

Basketball is quite different too, everyone can slam dunk. The only problem is keeping the ball on the court. Everyone is looking to Professor Emeritus Wade Griffin to figure out how to change the game for the gravity free environment. Height does not matter anymore, and some how the former Gurdon students who were unable to play on earth have become international celebrities. The top professional female player is Mary Anne Garner, with an average of 210 points per game. Go Mary Anne!

For those colonists who prefer other sports, Rasheda Dickens brings her Gladiators of the Universe, formerly American Gladiators, to the moon. Robert Smith and Tabitha Thomas headline the Gladiators. Robert has his own line of shoes called the Moon Walkers and Tabitha her own clothing chain called Moon and Beyond.

Rasheda's team called the Chain Reactions are often callenged by Jason, Big Daddy Cool Atom Smasher, Williams. Jason's gladiators, Jaime (Nebula) Wells and Autumn (Neutron Star) Leamons are billed as the Moon Maids. This gives the colonists quite a fight night. The competition is fierce, but referee, Valerie Key with her cool head always manages to keep peace.

The Mars exploration was launched from the moon base. This was done after President Brian McGalliard was pressured by Congresswoman Tasha Thrasher to "get the show on the road". Congresswoman Thrasher has her eye on the oval office, I hear.

Our own T.J. Johnson was the first to volunteer to go to Mars. He talked Senator Jared Smith into sending him. I don't know how T.J. did it, maybe the Senator got tired of T.J. interrupting his tennis matches.

The Mars explorers found truly harsh conditions, 6 months in a space ship, no entertainment, no movies, nothing but Dr. Tavonn Crow kept everyone sane during the trip

Both the Lunar and Martian colonies wanted a normal existance, so to help the Grand Mardi Gras committee bravely volunteered to go to both colonies to prepare for the annual event. Joe Grandstaff, Daniel Lamm and Keith Henson headed the delegation to help make preparations for the event. They became very thrilled when they realized the Martian year is twice as long as the year on earth. They could enjoy the festivities that much longer. What a thoughtful bunch of guys. The committee helped provide enterainment, such as Show Guys. This is the most successful show ever performed on stage. It is known the world over. The show stars our own Quincy Charles and Monica Hatley. Thank goodness I have their autographs in my memory book.

The list of those trying to help make the colonists feel at home is not limited to the sports or entertainment field. Latashia Duncan has established her international beauty salon "Hair and There" on both the Lunar and Martian colonies. Her "do" the Moon Glow is all the rage on earth.

Doctors around the world are now dealing with sports injuries unlike any we have on earth. The lack of gravity presents so many difficult problems. Everyone is looking to Dr. Shanna Wells, "THE" world renown sports doctor. Dr. Wells has been a pioneer in outer space sports medicine. Dr. Wells often confers with Dr. Laura Ray on many cases. Dr. Ray created the first anti-gravity bandaide.

Well, back on earth, Clifton Hunter is now a multi-millionaire for his invention of ouchless bleachers. His slogan is "no one can fall from my bleachers".

Jimmy Don Thomas has captured every fishing trophy offered on Earth. He is now pushing to have the Gurdon pond moved to the moon so can fish in a really out of this world place.

Jim White has bought Walt Disney Studios, afte his animated feature film Reaper-Mania made him a billionaire. Jim promply moved the entire concern to Curtis. When asked why, Mr. White merely stated "Because I Can".

Latori Sanders is now the world's top rated professional auto racer. Her car, developed by Aerospace Missiles has broken all land speed records.

Jennifer Runyan is an industrial spy for a large corporation. We never hear from her.

Stephanie Cooper and Carey Stiffler have opened the Casino Royale.