Nevada County Picayune and Gurdon Times Newspaper Archive

Spending Time With Family Vital

We hear a lot about violence in today's world. There are no quick fixes for violent behavior, but all of us can play a role in reducing violence, starting with our own families.

Perhaps the most important thing you can do is to spend enough time with your own family. Sounds easy doesn't it? But it must not be so easy because researchers tell us most parents spend only a few minutes a day interacting with their children.

What's the link between family time spent together and reducing violence in society? It's a little complicated, but it boils down do such things as passing on personal values to kids; transmitting family heritage; letting kids know what parents think about violent behavior and showing respect for each other; kids having time to talk with parents or guardians about the violence they see in the world; and children spending enough time with parents to see them model non-violent behavior in response to daily frustrations.

So how do we change a few minutes a day into hours spent together as a family? Here are a few suggestions from Betty Youngman, Family Life Specialist with the Cooperative Extension Service, University of Arkansas:

1) Insist on eating one meal a day together. It may have to be breakfast if that is the only time you have everyone home. Some families have to start with one meal a week together and increase it as they can.

2) Do hobbies together. Maybe the whole family isn't interested in sports, but those who are can spend time together. Some people may enjoy crafts, gardening or music. Some families work on family collections such as arrowheads or antiques.

3) Build family traditions. Is there something you could do once a week or once a month that would give you time togehter that could be relaxing, fun or energizing? Try eating out as a family on Saturday morning, attending church together, watching a television show each week and discussing it as a family, walking in the park on the weekend, family camp-outs or sing-alongs, etc.

Don't forget the once a year traditions. Vacations and holidays can be times to do a few things together that are special. Start a few new family traditions on purpose.

4) Cut out the time wasters. Spend time saved with the whole family. Everyone wastes some time - how is it wasted at your house? If you shop for groceries too much, use a list and shop less often. If you spend too much time doing laundry, get the others to help. Share household chores to make them go faster.

5) Get the family together and ask what everyone would like to do for fun as a family. Make a list, assign some tasks and priorities and try to accomplish them.

Families can spend more time together once you start looking for ways. While you are together, share you personal ideas and values. Don't expect your children to automatically know what you think about important issues such as what is acceptable behavior toward others. Put your thoughts into words on topics such as violence. Show your child how to act toward others by your own actions. These steps can help make our world less fearful.

Check with the Clark County Extension office (246-2281) for more practical advice about families.