Nevada County Picayune and Gurdon Times Newspaper Archive

The view from Wendy's World: Who to call when your real friends are busy?

When I was very little, I had one friend. His name was Ronnie and he was ... ummm ... special. In fact, his full name was Ronnie Blue and he existed only to the extent of my imagination.

Yep. I had an imaginary friend. As an only child, it was (Im pretty sure) a big relief to my mom. When no one else would play with me, Ronnie Blue always had the time and was willing to play whatever I wanted. Somehow, I left him behind when we moved from Dallas. Perhaps I was suddenly nearer cousins who could play with me and no longer needed him. Maybe I simply forgot to pack him.

As I was talking recently with a friend, she noted that shed also been an only child and that she wished shed thought to have an imaginary friend. Then she said that shed never talked to another adult whod admitted having one.

Hmm...

That comment made me wonder if maybe I should have kept my mouth shut about it. Then this friend told me that it was a sign of intelligence.

Hmmmmm...

With that in mind, I did what I always do when I want to know something. I googled it. And I discovered, right off the bat, a very unintelligent Web site about imaginary friends. One person indicated that they have had several, but keep forgetting them so had to make up new ones. Someone else said everyone has imaginary friends to take up the slack when the real friends are mad at you.

Then I moved on and - wa-la! - found a legitimate site from a University students research indicating that kids with an imaginary friend are quicker to learn language skills - because they have to carry on BOTH SIDES of the conversation.

Now I know what to say when someone catches me talking to myself: I was practicing.

What brought the whole Ronnie Blue topic to mind was a game I played with my grandkids over the weekend. My grandson, Jay, is 6 and it was his turn to pick something for 20 Questions. Let me first note that its more like 67 or 93 Questions when we play. In any case, wed discovered that it was alive, it had no fur, walked on two legs, was a person and was NOT anyone we could think to name. When we gave up, he announced that it was his imaginary friend. Let me note here that this friend does not have a name but gets the blame whenever something happens that a 6-year-old doesnt want to be blamed for.

His mom told him that the game is no fun unless the object is REAL. It later prompted a debate with Jays aunt about whats real.

Its an IMAGINARY friend, I said. Therefore it cannot be real.

I never had one, she responded. So I cant say whether its real or not.

I really had one, I said.

Which makes it real?

Hmmm...