Nevada County Picayune and Gurdon Times Newspaper Archive

Travails of the technical ink pen

I have an ink pen that I cant quite operate correctly. Before you judge my complete incompetence, let me explain. This isnt JUST an ink pen. This ink pen was a gift from someone who thought that Id really put the technology to use.

To put the capabilities of this ink pen into perspective:

* It came with an instruction manual.

* That manual was some 30-plus pages long.

* The pen itself has a series of buttons, including one marked Mode.

* The pen also has a microphone and a speaker.

Dont get me wrong, this pen was a terrific idea. If I could figure out how to use it to its fullest capabilities, itd certainly be a help to me. And I know that Id probably be okay if I could just sit down and read the book while I try to figure out what all these buttons do. Which brings me to the next (and possibly more important) aspect of my dilemma.

Ive misplaced the book.

So Ive resigned myself to the fact that Im probably only going to be using this pen to a fraction of its potential, and Im okay with that. At least I was until a couple of days ago.

One of my bad habits is that I often hold my pen in my mouth when my hands are full. I do that often when Im taking photos, especially if I dont have a pockets. Its such a natural thing for me to do, that I dont even think about it.

A few days ago I was writing with my fancy pen (thats one of the things I can make it do correctly) when I needed to type something on the computer. Rather than putting the pen down on the desk as any normal person would have done, I put it in my mouth. It was a bad idea on several planes.

First, its an electronic pen and I might very well have drooled into that pen, shorting out all these functions that I cant operate and possibly giving myself a real shock. That didnt happen.

What did happen was that I apparently pushed some buttons with my mouth. Now, the very annoying electronic voice of my pen alerts me to the time every half hour.

Whats worse is that the clock wasnt set to the correct time. I tried to turn it off, but I cant figure out the right combination of buttons to make that happen.

During my button-pushing exercises, I did manage to set the time correctly so now the lady is at least alerting everyone in the office to the correct time.

I guess well eventually become accustomed to the regular announcements. My biggest question now is, How long will these batteries last?