Nevada County Picayune and Gurdon Times Newspaper Archive

Wendy's World

With so many local folks headed out of town or even out of the state for summer travels, it occurred to me that it's difficult to understand the customs and laws of those strange, foreign places  places like Kansas and Ohio. And sometimes, not knowing the laws could get a person in serious trouble.

So I'm compiling a list of some laws that you might not be aware of. I hope you'll learn from this and return safely to our little town.

If you're passing through Alabama and just happen to have an ice cream cone in your back pocket, you could be in trouble. And if you're in Lee County, don't be caught selling peanuts after sundown on Wednesday.

These laws that I'm quoting come from www.dumblaws.com. These are all reportedly real laws, still on the books unless otherwise noted. Sometimes, it's pretty easy to understand how come the law came to be. Sometimes I just haven't a clue.

In Hawaii, all residents must own a boat or face a fine. Maybe they thought the island might sink? In Hawaii it's also illegal to put a coin in your ear. I think that falls in that category of "things that make you go hmmm."

Kansas offered up some really interesting laws. You can't shoot a rabbit from a motorboat. Somehow, I have this mental picture of a cannon in a boat, and a rabbit being fired through a flaming hoop to a giant air bag.

Critters must be an important part of Kansas because you can't catch fish with your bare hands and you can't use mules to hunt ducks (I didn't know mules could point that well anyway). If you happen to catch a duck, you can't parade it down Ohio Avenue in McDonald, Ohio.

If you plan to go to Kansas on a train, don't worry, you're safe. "If two trains meet on the same track, neither shall proceed until the other has passed." On second thought, that could take awhile.

If you live in Dodge, you have to provide a horse water trough and if you live in Topeka, you can't install a bathtub.

If you're headed to Oklahoma, you should know that you'd be breaking a law to read a comic book while you drive. If you plan to take your dogs, the mayor has to authorize the congregating of more than three dogs, even on private property. But don't worry, anyone who makes "ugly faces" at dogs can be fined or jailed. In Paulding, Ohio, a policeman has the authority to bite your dog to make it be quiet.

"Oklahoma will not tolerate anyone taking a bite of another's hamburger." If you happen to be eating that burger in Oklahoma City, you can't walk backwards till you finish eating. And you can't walk backwards in Clanton, Ohio, while eating a donut.

I feel safer already.

If you happen to get hypnotized in Hawthathorne, don't worry, it's illegal to put a hypnotized person on display in a store window.

Elephants are banned in Tulsa, mules can't drink out of birdbaths in Wynona and in most of the state, you must tie up your car in front of public buildings.

If you're planning a fishing trip to Ohio, you should know that whaling is illegal and you can't get a fish drunk. You also can't duel. Ever.

But if you plan to do something illegal, plan to do it on Sunday or July 4 because "no one can be arrested" on those days.

Be careful in Youngstown because it's illegal to run out of gas and you can't catch a ride on the roof of a taxi. If you lose your pet tiger in Clanton, you have to notify the authorities within an hour and you can't throw a snake at anyone in Toledo. On the other hand, I guess that means no one can throw a snake at you either!

Just for the record, Arkansas has its share of these laws.

You can't keep an alligator in your bathtub (and that was right up there on my "to-do" list). And if you happen to be in Little Rock on a Sunday, don't plan to walk your cow down Main Street after 1 p.m. Guess that means I need to get where I was going early.

Or take an alternate route.