Nevada County Picayune and Gurdon Times Newspaper Archive

Tiggernomics

"Where are you?" said Tigger, my genius cat.

"Hmm, what," I responded.

"Where are you?" Tigger again asked.

"I'm right here, taking out the garbage."

"No, you're not. You're several light years away."

"What do you mean?"

Tigger took a deep breath, looked at me and said, "You may be taking out the garbage, but you're mind is nowhere near here."

"Oh, that," I said. "I've been thinking about economics."

Tigger reached out with his paw, placed it on my arm and told me to sit down. "What's the problem?"

I told him if I knew what the problem was, I may be able to find a solution. This elicited a guffaw, and if you've never been laughed at by a cat, well, you've never been laughed at.

"You've been reading about Thomas Jefferson," he said. "And, you've read about Lincoln's policies. I know you've also studied W. Edward Demming, and took accounting courses at one time."

"So."

Tigger gave me a look only a cat can give, sighed and begin to explain things.

He said the first mistake I was making was in thinking the economy is based on capitalism, when it's actually still based on the English mercantile system. The difference, Tigger told me, is under true capitalism everyone has an opportunity to succeed, while the mercantile system was established so only the few at the top would get rich.

This made sense and cleared some of the confusion.

He then reminded me Jeffersonian economics were based on a decentralized government with no central bank, whereas Lincoln's ideas came from Alexander Hamilton's concept of a strong central government and a federal banking system, and this is what the nation is currently under.

More clouds lifted.

"You've been called a socialist and anti-profit," he said.

"Yes," I replied, "but I'm not. I know profit is necessary for a business to succeed, while socialism, theoretically, puts everyone on the same footing economically and can't work."

"Right," he said. "The problem has nothing to do with you're being anti-profit, but anti-profiteering and anti-greed. You're terribly naive and think people will do what's right given the opportunity, but this doesn't happen with major corporations."

In 2000, Tigger said, Michael Eisner, CEO of the Disney Corporation, laid off some 4,000 workers and netted a bonus of around $73 million, and he wasn't alone. CEO's, he continued, who laid off more than 1,000 workers during the year 2000 were handsomely rewarded to the tune of about $10 million each.

"But thousands of people were put out of work for these bonuses," I said.

Tigger agreed, telling me this is how major corporations work. He reminded me of "The Fifth Element" in which a million people are fired because the economy was heating up.

He told me this isn't a perfect world, and most people are simply out for all the money, perks and benefits they can get, no matter what the consequences are.

"John," he said, "you're problem is you simply aren't greedy enough. You just want to make enough to pay your bills, eat regularly and fairly well and have enough to indulge in your vices of books, movies and music. Those simply don't require massive amounts of money."

"My needs are simple," I said. "I enjoy living a life of quiet contemplation surrounded by good books and music."

"Great," Tigger said. "Do whatever makes you happy, but understand it isn't like this for everyone else."

I thanked him for his help and picked up the garbage bags.

"Before you go outside," he said, "you may want to put some pants on."