Nevada County Picayune and Gurdon Times Newspaper Archive

My genius cat, Tigger

My cat, Tigger, is a genius. He told me so. Yes, friends and neighbors, my cat talks, but only to me. Said it wouldn't be a good idea for him to be seen talking to just anybody, and reminded me of what happened to Einstein's talking dog once the other dogs found out.

The other day Tigger asked me why humans are so stupid. My reply was simple  it's the way we're made. We can't help it.

I asked him to be more specific in his query, and forego the generalities.

"John," he said (we're on a first-name basis at home), "you told me about a poll you'd read about which rights people would be willing to give up in order to be safe."

"Yes," I replied. "I remember. According to the poll, 1,245 people would be willing to sacrifice freedom of speech, 19,989 would give up freedom to travel where they wanted and 4,873 would toss away their rights of privacy. There were 8,203 who would give up all of these rights, while 46,471 refused to give up any rights at all."

"Those unwilling to give up any were the smartest ones," Tigger said, "but, for the sake of argument, all who responded to the poll were wrong."

"How so?" said I.

"First, think about how these alleged rights came into being," he said. "it began with the Revolutionary War and the formation of the United States of America. They were solidified during the Civil War and each subsequent war through the sacrifice of human life. This was never more true than during World War II when Hitler had to be dealt with."

"Go on."

"Next, people are forgetting there only exists the illusion of safety," Tigger said. "Safety doesn't exist."

"Explain."

"Think about it. Where do most accidents occur  in the home  the one place we're supposed to feel the safest. Now, what's safe about driving. I've seen how people drive up and down the street in front of our house, and how they drive on the highway. There's nothing safe there.

"Look at the crime rate, which, granted, did drop drastically after the Sept. 11 attacks in New York and Washington, D.C. People aren't safe on the streets. And," Tigger continued, "you just wrote articles about a crime watch neighborhood and how to avoid being a crime victim."

"True," I said. "What's your point?"

"Nothing is safe," Tigger said. "Life is a crap shoot at best, with the house always winning in the end. But, what I'm most irritated about is how willingly people are to give up what others died for, just so they can maintain an illusion.

"Millions of Americans," he continued, "sacrificed their lives to make this nation what it is. To give up, or even think of giving up, any of the freedoms they died for is a slap in their collective faces.

"America is the strongest nation on earth, bar none. American people, when they're forced into it, are the toughest people in the world. However, most Americans need a disaster of some sort to remind them they are Americans and what America stands for  freedom. You've watched Mel Gibson's "Braveheart", what was William Wallace's last word before being beheaded  FREEDOM. To give up freedom, any freedom, is to become a slave and give in to tyranny. To even consider sacrificing a freedom is nothing more than pure cowardice."

"I hadn't thought of it in quite those terms," I said. "But you're right."

With that said, Tigger curled up on his favorite blanket and went to sleep.