Nevada County Picayune and Gurdon Times Newspaper Archive

Living Well with the Carrie Connection

Anger is a high-intensity, high-energy emotion which is generally of short duration as children grow and develop.

Children learn how to express their anger  sometimes in a way that is helpful and sometimes in a way that is hurtful. Children need to learn that it is okay to feel angry, but it is not okay to hurt other people or damage their property.

Children should be allowed to feel each emotion, including anger. There are appropriate methods to help children express their anger in a healthy way. The following are some suggestions to help children express their feelings.

Talk about emotions and give names to the feelings he or she is experiencing.

Teach children about different emotions and why they feel certain ways.

Watch for times when the child is "talking out" the anger and encourage this behavior.

Provide physical outlets for anger: running, climbing stairs, dancing, walking, etc.

Use touching and closeness to calm a child until he or she can talk about her anger.

Have clear limits and consistently enforce those limits.

Allow the child to try to handle the anger on their own, but intervene before the situation gets out of control.

Reinforce positive aspects of the child's character.

Parents can serve as role models for the child, by talking anger out, not acting out. Children modify their behavior from people they are around.

Change the surroundings that may be stimulating the emotion. Encourage children to remove themselves from the situation if their strong feelings are getting out of control. Use story time and discussion to nurture problem solving techniques with the child. Most of all, tell the child you accept his angry feelings.

Explain to the child it is necessary to change the way in which he expresses this anger.

Humor can be a great antidote for anger. Whenever possible, help children to see the humor in a tense situation. Responding to any angry outburst with a gentle smile will often help diffuse the anger.

Parents get angry, too. Remember that it is okay to get angry; just be sure that anger doesn't take over. Use the opportunity to show children positive ways to deal with anger. Teaching by example is an extremely important parenting tool.

Sometimes anger gets in the way of normal everyday living. When anger is intense or is happening too frequently, it may be time to get help. Ongoing anger feeds on itself and can be extremely destructive for families.

If things get too out of hand, you may want to consider seeking the guidance and support of a counselor or family therapist.