Nevada County Picayune and Gurdon Times Newspaper Archive

Families Strengthened by Loyalty, Comitment

Families are strengthened by expressions of caring and appreciation. Even when a family member makes mistakes, strong families encourage and support each other. Love and respect are freely given, not used to buy love.

Strong families sometimes have conflict. Members may get angry, criticize or reprimand each other. But strong families deal with conflict without destroying one another or family well-being. They use methods to build, not harm, relationships.

Strong families notice and share positive aspects of each other. They notice the talents, skills and achievements, special qualities and characteristics that make the other person unique.

Members are committed to the family. They value what makes their family special. When times are hard, they stay loyal and work on their problems together. Researcher Nick Stinnet said strong families "have a sense of being a team; they have a family identity and unity. When outside pressures threaten to remove family from its top priority, members of strong families take action and make sacrifices necessary to preserve family well-being."

One way to build family commitment is to practice family traditions. A family tradition is an event that occurs regularly and holds special meaning. It may be as simple as Saturday morning pancakes or as elaborate as an annual fishing trip.

Stinnet says traditions are the "we always" of families  "We always have snow ice cream at the first snowfall," or "We always have games and popcorn on Saturday nights." Traditions have meanings that are special to the family and can build a feeling of stability and safety for family members.

Build family loyalty and commitment with family history. Ask older relatives to talk about their lives. Discover what country your ancestors came from, what their lifestyle was like and what they did for a living. Relate to the countries your ancestors lived in and the things people did in those countries.

Members of strong families share a belief in something greater than themselves. They agree about what is right and wrong and what is really important. Shared values and beliefs give purpose and meaning, provide unity to their goals and shape guidelines to live by. Spirituality can be a powerful source of strength.

Strong families are connected to others and don't stand alone. If they have a hard time dealing with a problem they seek outside help. For more ideas about developing strong families, contact the Clark County Extension office, 501 Clay Street in Arkadelphia.