Nevada County Picayune and Gurdon Times Newspaper Archive

Balancing Work, Children Part Of Study

How can parents who work outside the home satisfy the demands of their jobs, yet still meet the needs of raising children? Betty Youngman, family life specialist, Cooperative Extension Service, University of Arkansas has found some clues based on a report of research.

In a recent book, Ask the Children, Ellen Galinsky reported on a comprehensive study of working parents and their children. As a result of the study Galinsky suggested ways that busy working parents can achieve a more successful family life.

The first suggestion is to reframe the way you think about time with your children. Galinsky says to forget about whether it is quality time or the quantity of time. She found that both the amount of time and what happens in that time matter. These aspects cannot be separated.

Second, spend enough time with your child so that both you and your child feel like it is enough time.

Third, spend hang-around time with your children. Hang-around time is time when you are calm and relaxed. You don't have to be interacting with the child, but you are nearby. You may be doing something, and your child may be doing something else.

Fourth, spend some focused time with your children. When you focus on a child, you pay attention to him. You respond to him. This focused time might include listening, talking things over, solving problems, reading to the child or helping him plan a project.

Fifth, get involved in activities with your children. This means to do things that both you and your child like to do. It is important to do activities with them not just for them.

Sixth, promote the interests that your child cares about. It doesn't matter what the interest is; it only matters that it is constructive and broadens his interest beyond himself.

Seventh, think about how you want to raise your child, and then try to do it. Try to keep your expectations realistic.

Eighth, find people who will support you. You are looking for emotional support as well as some actual help with the work. Coworkers, friends, neighbors, your spouse, in-laws, even your children can provide some support.

Finally, take care of yourself. Galinsky said that we erroneously think that if we take care of ourselves that we are taking away from time spend with our families. Instead, she noted that when parents take care of themselves they actually become better parents.

Time we spend with growing children is precious and fleeting, and makes an impact that lasts a lifetime. Parents must consider whether or not they are making the most of the opportunities they have to help mold their children into strong adults.

For more information about child development and family issues contact the Clark County Cooperative Extension office at 501 Clay Street in Arkadelphia, or call 246-2281.