Nevada County Picayune and Gurdon Times Newspaper Archive

Into The Void with John Miller

What's Wrong With Kids Today?

What's wrong with kids today? Why are they like they are? What can we do about it?

These questions are asked constantly, but, if the truth be known, people would prefer whining and moaning to finding the answer.

Young people today are not much different than we were when we were their age. The major difference is they are exposed to more than we ever dreamed possible, and this isn't necessarily a good thing.

However, the biggest problem with their behavior isn't really their fault, but the fault of mom and dad, or whoever their "primary care giver" (I hate that term) is.

In talking to people about how children behave today and what the parents do in response the story rarely changes. If a child sees something they want a fit is thrown in public. Mom, dad or whoever, gets embarrassed, says no, at first, then caves in because it's easier.

What this does is tells the child they are in control and the adults can be manipulated with loud, obnoxious noises being made in a public place. The bad part is, this has become worse during the last 20 years.

Where my own childhood is concerned, I can remember having my brain cells stimulated by a keen switch across my backside on more than one occasion. For some reason when stimulus is applied to this area, the brain begins to function more appropriately.

I grew up in a small town, much like this one. If I got in trouble at school I got paddled. When I got home my grandmother already knew what I'd done and I got it again. It didn't take long to get the picture and modify the offending behavior.

I've talked to other adults who remember things being much the same way in their childhood.

And this is exactly what children need today, a good spanking when they get out of line. Remember, a spanking is different than a beating. Under no circumstances should a parent beat a child.

Another problem is the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) has successfully sued to prevent parents from being able to spank their children, calling it abuse. While it may be demeaning and humiliating for a little while, a spanking is not abuse.

We need to once again allow children to be paddled in school for disruptive behavior instead of drugging them with crap like Ritalin. In many cases the spanking would do more good than the drug.

So called experts drone endlessly about how spanking and discipline can harm a child's self-esteem. Frankly, these people are idiots who could use a good caning themselves.

Self-esteem is earned, not given. It's just like trust and respect. A child's self-esteem will increase as it's shown the path to right and corrected properly when it disobeys the rules. Proper correction in many cases does require a spanking.

We, as a culture, have forgotten children push the rules to the limit because they want and need discipline. They need to know their parents love them, and, oddly enough, discipline does just this.

When a child gets away with misbehaving, they get the idea no one cares about them or what they do. This happens all to often these days.

I was talking to a business owner the other day who said they have seen teenagers throw a screaming fit on the floor if they didn't get what they wanted. The parents caved in and the child got its way.

What should have been done, is the parent grab said child's ear and lift. This would have stopped the tantrum and stimulated some inactive brain cells.

Then there are those parents who say their children are bigger than they are and they can't control them. Guess what? It's still the parents fault for not showing the child who was boss early on.

I've talked to police officers who have dealt with street gangs. Down the line the story is the same. Young people joined the gang because of the order and discipline. It gives them a sense of family they don't get at home, even though the behavior involved is patently anti-social.

What does this tell you? Give children discipline and order at home and they won't seek it elsewhere. Make home a place your children want to be. Show, by example, how they should act and discipline them properly when they get out of line.

Spanking isn't a bad thing, regardless of what the "experts" say. If more parents spanked their children during the formative years, when they hit the teen years keeping the children in line would be much easier.

Raising a child right is hard work. It takes time and a lot of it. It takes consistency and an adherence to the rules.

Parents don't need to try and be friends with their children. This can happen once said child reaches the age of majority. Until then, mom and dad need to be the authority in their child's life, teaching them the proper way to behave in polite society.