Nevada County Picayune and Gurdon Times Newspaper Archive

Into The Void

I have a confession to make  I committed murder recently. It was neatly planned and executed, done with malice, forethought and plenty of premeditation. I'm glad I did it.

Perhaps, though, murder is too strong a word for what was done. Maybe justifiable homicide would be better suited to the act instead. After all, it was either the victim or me, there was no other choice. One of us had to go, and it wasn't going to be me.

The victim had been slowly stealing my life away. Robbing me of the ability to think and create, filching me of my imagination. Scary thought, huh? So it had to be done.

And, the best part is, the murder was done by remote control. A simple call has freed me from a lifetime of brain-numbing, moronic, imbecilic inanity. No longer will there be any unwanted demands placed upon me.

Now, I am free to pursue other interests, with no fear of prosecution from the law. This confession means nothing and can't be held against me in a court of law. Not one second will be spent behind bars, nor will any member of the law enforcement community waste any time questioning me about the crime.

Why, you may be asking yourself, would anyone admit to murder in print? The answer is simple, no human being or animal was harmed when the deed was done. No, the victim in this case was television, and the murder was having the satellite programming disconnected. Now, there are no signals from the heavens entering my home, being fed into the Cyclops and stealing my valuable time.

Television is a drug, albeit a legal one. It numbs the brain with the pablum shown on screen. Today's programming offers little to anyone who can think, but its narcotic effect will rob those who watch of their ability to reason, imagine and create.

Let's face it, as a nation we are TV addicts. Countless hours are wasted this time of the year by watching football, both college and professional. Yes, doing this harms relatively few people, unless the viewer in question gets violent because their team is losing or gambling is involved. But most who are glued to the boob tube are young enough to be out playing football with their friends, or children.

If everyone turned of their television for a weekend, didn't watch a single program, and went outside, weather permitting, they would discover something great  nature and the real world.

What could be better than a family tossing a football around, playing horseshoes or going on a picnic? Mom and dad could always teach the children how to fish, ride a horse or identify plants around the house. Hiking is another alternative to sitting numbly in front of an electronic babysitter.

My own plans are to become more involved in music, reading and working on my own writing projects. There are no more excuses of having something to watch on TV any longer.

Reading should be encouraged in the home, not watching television. There's something about physically having a book in hand, letting the words transport you to another realm, that's akin to magic. Kurt Vonnegut Jr. said reading a short story is like taking a Buddhist nap.

It has been proven reading is more relaxing than watching TV. Reading can lower the blood pressure, remove stress and increase intelligence, creativity and imagination.

Books are also good friends. They're always there when called upon. They don't lie to anyone or make promises they can't or won't keep. A good book can be a comfort to the soul, offering peace of mind and solace to the spirit.

Yes, I killed my television. I would do it again, gladly, without regret, without remorse, without hesitation.

After all, there's an entire world to be seen out there, and it shouldn't be viewed through any kind of electronic medium.

To borrow a line from Martin Luther King Jr., "Free at last, free at last."