Nevada County Picayune and Gurdon Times Newspaper Archive

Good Listening Key With Difficult People

Organizations are made up of people, and in most organizations there will be at least one difficult person. Difficult people often disrupt meetings to the point that nothing gets accomplished. This kind of behavior discourages participation and results in more conflict.

To deal with difficult people who continually cause problems, consider these few simple suggestions given by Diane Jones, family and consumer sciences specialist, Cooperative Extension Service, University of Arkansas.

First, don't routinely assume the problem member is at fault. It's easy to pin the blame on the usual' troublemaker. Concentrate more on the act, not on excuses. Get the perspective of all involved to get an accurate reading of what happened and why. React only to the current infraction not the past ones.

Analyze your own reaction when you disagree. Hearing is not listening. Many organizational disputes begin because people hear what others say, but they're not really listening.

The three basics of good listening are: (1) clear your mind of distractions, (2) concentrate on the words and (3) pay careful attention to the non-verbal gestures, including voice tone.

Acknowledging is not agreeing. Use acknowledgment phrases to recognize others' positions and feelings without agreeing with them. Here are some examples:

"I understand why you're upset."

"If I've got this right, you believe we would. . ."

"That's an interesting idea. Let's look at it in more depth."

The individual will know you are listening to him or her if you use phrases similar to these and the communication link is still open.

Acknowledging is not yielding. Once you acknowledge views of others, it's your turn to present yours. Offer constructive criticism and allow others to challenge you the way you challenged them. One possible approach is to say something like this:

"I've listened to your views, and now I'd like you to hear what I have to say."

"I doubt that plan will work, but here's what we might do. . ."

If the person's suggestion has some merit, try to find that and recognize it. Or compromise and find a common meeting place. For example you might say:

"I like your idea, and think we can build on it by. . ."

"We could start with your plan and add these ideas. . ."

The Cooperative Extension Service provides opportunities for developing and/or learning leadership skills for working effectively in organizations. Youth learn about leadership by participating in 4-H programs. Leadership training is conducted for 4-H leaders and Extension Homemaker Club members.

For more information on these and other programs available in Clark County contact the Cooperative Extension office at 501 Clay Street in Arkadelphia, or call 246-2281.