Nevada County Picayune and Gurdon Times Newspaper Archive

Into The Void - with John Miller

Man, the child king of the planet Earth, is under the mistaken impression "He" is the most superior being in the world. The truth is, mankind doesn't even rank in the top 10.

A while back I was sitting around thinking and bouncing these thoughts off a receptive mind. This could be considered dangerous because some of my thoughts don't need to be received, or even voiced at times.

Still, the conversation took a bizarre turn toward which species in existence today are more superior to man and why. Why is an important part of the equation, otherwise the entire concept would be meaningless.

The dolphin, it was deduced, is likely the most intelligent being on the planet today. It's bone structure shows "hand-like" appendages beneath its flippers. The dolphin, a mammal, has proven it can survive in any number of circumstances and is helpful to other creatures. It has two natural enemies, man and shark.

Next on the list was whales. Again, another mammal, the whale has been shown to be intelligent and has the ability to communicate underwater. Man can't do that without special equipment and then it's only spotty.

Cats were third on the list. What really needs to be said about them. Cats can't be owned by people, but are, in point of fact, the masters of their households. Unlike a dog, they do not come when called and will not tolerate abuse. They can also let their opinion be known better than most people.

Coyotes were next because of their ability to avoid man and survive. It's not that coyotes are great creatures, but they continue to exist in spite of man's best efforts to get rid of them.

Elephants also ranked higher than man. These noble creatures live in community settings, take better care of their young than we do and look out for one another. Man doesn't fare well in comparison.

Horses, with the exception of thoroughbreds, made the list. Horses have shown they can be heroic, live in a peaceful hierarchical society and, again, band together when danger is near. Unfortunately, most thoroughbreds were simply bred for speed and can be stupid willful animals, much like mankind.

As much as I hate them, snakes are also smarter than man, and are, in fact, one of man's few natural enemies.

The duckbilled platypus ranks higher than man. Think about it, any creature looking like it was designed by committee and surviving this long has got to have something on the ball besides dumb luck. Otherwise, Darwin's theory isn't worth beans.

Ants are superior to man. They have fully developed societal structures, live in colonies, hunt for food and can lift many times their own body weight.

Some mythical creatures made the list as well  yeti, bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster. To date, no one has been able to prove if any of these creatures do or don't exist. Being able to stay hidden with the technology we have available today is a definite sign of superiority.

Other critters on the list include bear, rabbits, kangaroo, bats, turtles, reindeer, the sloth and the Tasmanian devil (yes, such a creature does exist, look it up in the encyclopedia).

Unfortunately time and space won't permit detailing why each of these creatures is superior to man, but a little logical thought should provide all the answers anyone would need.

Oh, by the way, on my list, which is a partial one that excluded all insects with the exception of ants, and should have included roaches, but I don't like them either, man managed to rank 21st.

He was lucky to be so highly rated, too. After all, no other creature on Earth intentionally declares war on members of its own species, has so little regard for its own species and does as much damage to the ecology as man.

Superior, I don't think so.