Nevada County Picayune and Gurdon Times Newspaper Archive

Into The Void with John Miller

Scientists have made a remarkable discovery  dying results in death 100 percent of the time.

The results of this amazing discovery were announced recently at a major news conference in New York.

Until the announcement was made, however, people worldwide thought death and dying were the same thing. In fact, most believed death was caused by such things as accidents and diseases.

Perhaps we have just been naive as a race in how we thought, and needed these scientists to set us straight on the facts.

It is interesting to learn how wrong we were in our thought processes in the past, but isn't this what learning is all about  finding out how stupid we were in the past. After all, it wasn't that long ago people believed the world was flat and the moon was made of cheese.

Dying and death two separate things. Amazing. Who would have ever thought?

However, the scientists did say several different factors cause people to die, which then results in death. In fact, they stated life is the major reason people die, which, in turn, causes their death. If no one were alive, there would be no death.

If a person drowns and dies, this then, the scientists said, would result in death. A person may recover from dying, but no one, they continued, recovers from being dead.

Could all those people who have had near death experiences be wrong, the scientists were asked? NDE, as it is called, occurs during the dying process, not when death has happened. Thus the name "near death experience." If those experiencing NDE actually died, they would be dead and it would be a real death experience and they couldn't recover.

Knudson Looflirpa, a Scandinavian researcher, was adamant during the conference, telling the press dead people stay dead, while dying people can still be saved.

Said Looflirpa, "Any fool should know a person is alive until they are dead. A dying person isn't dead, just dying. When they're finished dying, they are dead and not a minute before."

The group provided a list of things that could result in dying and lead to death.

Cancer, they said, can cause dying, and death if left untreated, as can heart disease.

Staying underwater without scuba gear can also result in dying and death, if the person is under the water for any length of time.

Breathing leads to dying, which leads to death, they said, adding not breathing has been shown to speed up the process of both.

Eating also has been connected to dying and death by the scientists, who said people shouldn't eat, but those who don't appear to die sooner and be dead longer than those who eat regularly.

Bathing has been shown to result in dying and death at times, especially when the bather falls and hits their head in the tub or shower. Not bathing, though, makes everyone else wish the person who hadn't bathed was dead.

In fact, the group, led by Looflirpa, said being alive results in dying, and those who die can become dead and death is 100 percent fatal with no cure in sight. They did pledge to continue their research and work to find a cure for death.

"It's OK to die," Looflirpa said, "but no one should have to be dead. You must remember, life is the leading cause of dying, and, therefore, the leading cause of death."

None of the scientists, when questioned, had any ideas on what effect immortality would have on the human race and life on earth as we know it.