Nevada County Picayune and Gurdon Times Newspaper Archive

Have An Alzheimer's Christmas

For most families, holidays are filled with opportunities for togetherness, sharing, laughter and memories. But holidays can also be filled with stress, disappointment and sadness.

Because of the changes he or she has experienced, the person with Alzheimer's disease may feel a special sense of loss and passage of time during holiday seasons. At the time, caregivers may feel overwhelmed in their effort to maintain holiday traditions on top of caring for the person with this disease. In addition, caregivers may feel hesitant to invite other family and friends over to share the holiday, for fear they will react negatively to the changed behavior of the family member.

If you're feeling guilty, angry, frustrated or trapped before, during or after the holiday celebrations, it may help to know that these feelings are normal, and that you're not alone. Here are some suggestions that may make holidays happy, memorable occasions.

Adjust expectations. Discuss holiday celebrations with relatives and close friends. Make sure that family members understand the situation and have realistic expectations. By discussing past celebrations, you may be able to agree on how you'll handle upcoming holidays.

Give yourself permission to do only what you can reasonably manage. No one can expect you to maintain every holiday tradition or event.

Involve the person with Alzheimer's disease. Throughout all stages of preparation, involve the Alzheimer's patient in safe manageable activities. This can help to prepare the person for the holiday and give you an opportunity to spend quality time together.

Maintain the patient's normal routine so that holiday preparations don't become disruptive or confusing. Remember, taking on too many tasks at one time can wear on you and your family member.

Build on past traditions and memories. Your family member may find comfort in singing old holiday songs, for example. Also experiment with new holiday traditions, such as renting seasonal videos.

Adapt gift-giving. Encourage useful gifts. Among the practical, useful gifts for patients are safe return bracelets, easy-to-remove clothing, audiotapes of favorite music, videos of family members. Advise people not to give gifts that are too difficult, challenging or unsafe. Allow the patient to join in gift-giving. Let them help with the gift wrapping.

Don't neglect your own needs. If friends or family members ask what you what for a gift, suggest a gift certificate to a carry-out restaurant, laundry, or cleaning service. If you don't receive these gifts from someone else, give them to yourself. Ask for help and support. If someone asks, "What can I do to help?" don't hesitate to tell them.

Try to be flexible. Consider celebrating over a lunch or brunch, rather than an evening meal, so that the evening confusion or sundowning that sometimes affects some people with Alzheimer's can be avoided.

Prepare to deal with your post-holiday letdown. You may want to arrange for in-home care so you can enjoy an outing with a friend and reduce post-holiday stress.

Remember that holidays are opportunities to share time with the people you love. Try to make these celebrations easy on yourself and the person with Alzheimer's so that you may concentrate on enjoying your time together.